Questions & Answers

Q: The college envelopes are starting to arrive, and my teen is heartbroken. He had his heart set on one particular school and he didn't get in. He is really upset. How can I help my son move on and face next year with a positive outlook?

A: This is a cruel time of year for seniors. When they don't get the fat envelope (with the college acceptance inside), they think life is over. Here's how to help:

• Ask your son why that college was his first choice. Kids (and parents) can get wrapped up in looking for the college that ranks highest. Yet what they should be looking for is the school that's the best fit.
• Redirect your son. Have the conversation you had last year. Ask him what he is looking for in a college. Which of the schools that have accepted him is most likely to meet those goals? Now he can make a positive choice for a different school.
• Share your own experiences. When were you disappointed by not getting your first choice? How did you cope, and how did things turn out? Help your teen see that life throws us all some curve balls. What's important is what we do with the choices we are given.
• Give him hope. There are still ways your son can get into his first choice school. If he gets good grades his freshman year, he can apply to transfer. But perhaps by then he'll be settled in his new college and won't want to leave.